How our Parent Wounds affect us…

One of the ways that the mother warned manifest in a man is by feeling desperate to meet his love, affection and sexual needs through different women because he experienced a depressed mother who could not meet his needs when he was a child. Chances are that his current partner has an abandonment wound with her father and the moment that she feels chosen by her partners actions of seeking connection with other women she collapses in depression her partner feel how he felt when he was young in the presence of his depressed mother

The depressed mother was just another woman unable to meet her needs. Abandoning herself for the sake of safety, feeling so depleted, without arrows, lowly Vito, and no inspiration. Unable to be tuned to the knees of her children. 

This is all to say the most important influence in kids life  is a well loved mother. When a mother is depleted and depressed, she cannot show up for the son and daughter, making the pattern repeat itself. 

What does that mean for all of us? 

That we need to unpack what happened to us, what we decided about ourselves because of it. What we decided about love, being a man and being a woman. 

We need to do nervous system and somatic healing work to return the integrity to our bodies.

To give our bodies the actual chance of having full integrity after so much pain and trauma. 

Healing the cracks so the bowl can hold water (hold your partner, grow in commitment and keeping the fire and connection alive, while feeling safe) 

It can only happen if we are each willing to do our side of the deal. 

Your desire for someone shows you your willingness to do it with them. It will also show you, they are able to touch your deepest wounds 

If we didn’t see a father fully accountable and capable of taking his wife’s feedback and reshape his actions into integrity so the family feels safe, loved and supported, we don’t have the information yet active within us, then we must find a way to heal the things getting in the way of letting that love through, to remember the blueprint within us that will lead us to sacred union. 

You are a combination of survival patterns that are keeping you alive but probably not serving you in your connection to your ideal love life. 

Your parental deprivation of love is a now a debt your partner and children are paying for until you heal it

This is spiritual, physical, emotional work. 

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The Conspiracy Against Pleasure